With all of this new confidence I have also been able to let go of past relationships. I don't have to hold on to things that aren't a part of my life anymore. That has been one of the most liberating things for me. I am someone who swore up and down that I would never be in another relationship again after the damage that was done. But here I am, developing feelings for people and even wanting to start a relationship. I am ready. Even though the person that I would have liked to be in a relationship with isn't the right one at this point in time, it is still a step forward in knowing that I really am okay. I have let go of the past and am looking towards the future. I am at a point where I am so happy with life and loving the way things are going that I feel like I can be happy in other areas of my life as well. I now love myself, even if I am not yet at the weight I would want, which means that I can open myself up to caring for someone else too. It's a good feeling.
I have been slipping a bit with the foods that I have been eating but I have not been gaining weight. I have made sure that even when I do slip I don't backtrack. I simply stay on the same path that I have been. The biggest issue that I have is sleep. I don't get nearly enough (I say as I am typing this less than 4 hours before work and I have yet to go to bed). I can tell that sleep is a huge part of this process as I gain quite a bit of weight from day to day when I haven't had sleep. I am just having so much fun going out and being around people who I truly enjoy being around that sleep falls to the bottom or the priorities list.
The most important part is that I'm HAPPY. I love life. I love the people I have in my life. I love my amazing son. I love the fact that I am able to look in the mirror and think that I look good. I love that I get the chance to go out and be around the people that make me even happier. I love that finally, for the first time in a long long long long time, I want to be around others instead of in bed thinking about how depressed I am. You know why? Because I am not depressed anymore!
To everyone who has helped me along in this journey, to those who compliment the way that I dress, and to all of those who have told me I am beautiful...THANK YOU. I love you all and am so thankful every day that I get to have people like you in my life.
